The word which will perfectly describe this book is- mawkish. 0143423967 a generous 1.25 out of 5. (In-depth, detailed analysis included.)
After reading this book, it gave me a pause, it made me think.
‘Could it be possible that I'd actually read something worse than this in the past?’
“NO,” came a sad but resolute reply from the inside.
But let’s not dwell on the negatives from the get-go, let’s give credit where it’s due:
The author had written it at a very young age, commendable and he has nailed 3 things – 1.language 2.action sequences 3.research. (but he managed to botch this last one.)
And that’s it.
‘Bard Of The Blood’ is a totally by the numbers action-thriller. What’s wrong with that? Nothing. I accept that there’s only 6 possible different story concepts and creating a new one is much tougher than people realize. But the difference, and brilliance occurs when people actually bother to take a new approach with known concepts. A Fresh Take. Sadly, there’s zero such effort from Mr. Siddiqui.
The plot? It goes like this: Failed operation. Killed brother-in-arms. Disgraced and forced to retire agent. Sympathetic but hands-tied superior. Agency politics. Shakespeare. Killed ex-superior. Mole. Another sympathetic superior. Avengers Assemble. Shakespeare. Tech guy. Mysterious guy. Cute bomb lady. Captured agents. Rescue Operation. Afghan Politics. Mullah Omar. Second-in-command. Other mullahs. ISI general. Balochi rebels. Their half-British leader. Helicopter-fight. Torrent downloading. Puzzle solving. Delhi-metro. Suicide bombers. Sacrifice. Doklam conflict in Laddakh. Chinese President. “Geo-Tagged” torpedo. Sniper. Twist. Roof-top fight. Cute bomb lady. Dubai. Twist. Shakespeare.
Characters: Kabir, the protagonist, is the disgraced and framed Agent who teaches literature in a Mumbai college in his shameful retirement. His entrance in a Teachers-Vs-students football match is well-portrayed. but too bollywoodia. I was half expecting someone in the audience to just get up and start singing “Chak de! Oh Chak De india!!!.” His character is unstable. I mean really. He remembers Macbeth in one scene and immediately becomes a blood thirsty hound in next. And meanwhile develops a slight problem with painkillers. Mid book. Not immediately after his retirement, which would’ve made sense. He’s reckless, and near super-human with 20 liters of blood.
Nihar, the tech guy, is married, with an as-yet-un-christened child and struggles with the clichéd problem of juggling between family and his secret work. He’s an excellent sharp-shooter other than being a techie. Cool. Except he freezes at critical moments and we never gets to see his excellent shooting capabilities. Out of all Avengers, however, he comes across as most realistic and balanced.
Veer, the mystery man is a deep cover agent in Pakistan who joins up the team. The most intriguing. He’s reserved, balanced, cold, calculating and patriotic. Have become half Pashto (to the extent he listens to Pashto and afghan music during the road-trip to Quetta, which, come to think of it, was better tradecraft, except he was told to switch to ‘something which all the guys could understand’, by the cute bomb lady.)
Isha, Cute bomb lady, is supposed to be an explosive expert. Who’s just there to look cute and drop one-liners.
Irfan Baloch Khan, is aide/servant to one of the warlords and accompanies the Avengers to fight scenes. He’s interesting enough.
The two Balochi warlords. Nabil Bugti and Nusrat Marri, have good history. Both have families taken from them by ISI. And they drive expensive cars.
ISI general, Shehzad is uninteresting, his superior Tayyab, barely.
Mullah Omar has an Islamic extremist eye of Le-Chiffre from Casino Royale. He likes little boys. And is a true eccentric-fanatic. His second-in-command, mullah Barader, is shrewd and balances well the other side of their extremism.
The point here is, the characters are all well clichéd and one-dimensional. Not surprising, given the one-dimensional story itself.
Analysis: The plot doesn’t make sense. It reads more like a Video Game than a novel. Like Ra-One of Shahrukh khan (in whose Red-Chilies Entertainment the author works.), it has three levels. 1. Captured Agent rescue 2. Metro suicide bombing. 3. Indo-china proposed fuck-up. And it’s disconnected. It’s not like one thing leads to other. It doesn’t make any sense.
Let me break down the ISI’s 4 step master plan for you:
1. Have the mole betray four RAW agents.
2. Have the terrorists, acting as a front for ISI, demand release of 4 of their comrades (yasin bhatkal of IM included. Brigadier Shehzad insists there’s a severe lack of Bomb-makers in terrorist organizations and Yasin is still the best)
3. Have some suicide bombers attack Delhi Metro.
4. Have the Chinese president killed on Indian soil, so the Chinese might wipe out the India.
5. P.S. add a foreshadowing ‘bombing in a mall event’ to justify cute bomb lady’s existence. As an afterthought. As a “connecting evidence. (*scoffs*)”
The obvious problem: Won’t the world and Chinese have a solid reason to believe India if its own cities are attacked just weeks before by terrorists; if Chinese president too, gets assassinated in what is well portrayed as a terrorist attack? If anything, it’ll bound India and China together and cut the umbilical cord of Chinese help to Pakistan.
How does the other 3 steps bring into fruition, or even help, the 4th step, is never made clear and is utterly stupid to think of in connected terms anyway. ( or maybe that was the plan? Who knows)
The politics and conflict, in Afghanistan and Pakistan both, is super-confusing and unrealistic. Why would something called ‘Afghan-Taliban’ show a whole lot more than a cursory interest in India? It traditionally hasn’t. It appears all the major terrorist organizations like Al-Qaida, Haqqani network, Afghan-Taliban, all of them have become pals with Americans, not worrying about them anymore and solely targeting India as their biggest enemy.
The author tries to pull a Frederick Forsyth here. Using real characters and real conflicts and histories. Even the narration feels like that whenever the background is being told or discussed. The research, it’s great. Making sense of it and incorporating it into a piece of fiction however, in any meaningful manner i mean, spectacularly fails. The level of wasted opportunity here is astronomical in quantity and criminal in quality.
It drags too. For example, kabir’s chats with former Afghan Intelligence head, come across as a pile of unneeded and unrealistic info-dumps. We’d expect someone going into Afghanistan-Balochistan, especially someone with an espionage background, to be aware of the fundamental realities there, more so, if that someone had a history working there (not to mention a troubled one). But even more stupid is lack of any clear reason as to how the history and political lesson ‘regarding Afghanistan’ is going to help Kabir’s mission in Baluchistan. Or why Indians are un-aware of such histories? If all the ex-Afghan Intelligence head had to do was pass along fake identities and arrange their cover as journalists, we the readers could have been dispensed with the political gup-shup. It’s un-necessary.
Note: I can’t quite get my head around to the fact that an ex-Intelligence head would carelessly plug in a pen drive containing secret diagrams and intelligence, to a common hotel TV, and not in his ultra-secure laptop or any such personal thing which he could have been confident to be secure.
As far as dragging is concerned, the first chapters involving entrance of 3 major characters, Kabir, Isha and Nihar seemed totally un-necessary. Okay, Nihar’s doesn’t feel that way. But Isha’s? come-on man, you know it could’ve been cut altogether. Come to think of it, it might have awarded her a little more mystery which she sourly lacked. Kabir hitting 4 goals in 20 minutes of football,too, is a scene rivaling that of South-Indian movie heroes. ( cue Shahrukh’s “Lungi Dance- Lungi dance”)
Speaking of which; general public, cronies, guards, militia and everything and everyone else behaves utter stupid and blind, and heroes possess unnatural amount of physical reserves.
Kabir’s whole “Reluctant-to Return” act, too, is simply pathetic, yawn worthy skip next material. The book was starting to feel monstrous in opening pages themselves, even though it’s very short. Both in scope and creativity.
And therein lies the problem of this book. Absolute lack of any-thing creative. Its a sorry, hotch-potch collection of clichés. The only thing creative is the creative liberties taken.
I was cringed to the core, when I read the Plan-A method to take out Chinese President. ‘Underwater drone bomb’ (which we’ll call the ‘torpedo’ from now on, for ease of use.) Which was “Geo-Tagged” to attach itself below the promenade where Chinese President was supposed to give his speech.
FOR REAL?
The second (and last) evidence of something truly well-thought of, turns out to be absolutely preposterous? Why was I reading this?
It was insulting. Since when does anything underwater start receiving GPS/GLONASS/Beidou/GALILEO signals? It’s impossible. I did a quick google search and even Americans, with all their toys and technology, can’t hope to achieve this until 2020. Then too, it’s not “Geo-Tagging” or anything. even a cursory mention of 'someone-invented-this-for-terrorists' would have been enough. Absence of which points to current (2014, according to book timeline) technology. when it was plain impossible.
Plan-B nearly plagiarizes the method of James-Barr’s instinctive method of Sniping, in Lee Child’s Jack Reacher book: ‘One-Shot’. Thank god, it escapes away from it in the end.
This book is clear indication of how India and it’s public operates. How they make utterly ludicrous works bestsellers and what-not.
The author had written it already and no (sane?) publisher was accepting it. (no points for guessing why.) One evening another “best-selling author”, S. Hussein Zaidi, who has a reputation for writing similar clichés filled popular action thrillers, takes a seminar in Author’s college, talks to author, asks to send him a synopsis, which he then forwards to Penguin random house with his recommendation and boom! We get another Potboiler which causes nothing but sadness, heartache, vomiting, stomachache, bile and indigestion.
There have been instances, where adaptations have turned out to be better than source materials (twilight, anyone?). I sincerely hope ‘Bard of the Blood’ falls in this category when Netflix releases its web-series. (Though why did they bother with it in the first place, is quite beyond me. Except may be for Shahrukh?)
There are better recommendations then this one. Shatrujeet nath’s ‘The Karachi Deception’, though at the risk of sounding a little close to the legendary ‘The Spy Who Came In From The Cold’, remains the true best desi cross-border action espionage thriller in my opinion. Sami-Ahmed Khan’s ‘Red Jihad’, despite its flaws, too, is 10 times better than this book. As is the Desi Adaptation of Tom Clancy’s ‘Red Strom Rising’ by Mainak Dhar. Read those if you are interested in desi thrillers. But for Allah’s sake, skip this one.
P.S. -- There’s no unique religious information/message the author has shared with his readers. As opposed to what he claims in interviews and articles. ‘No religion or God asks its followers to kill each other, or innocent others.” Yeah, right. Every-one knows that. Um, there should be more, I suppose?
Was that the only piece of wisdom the author gained when he was busy “Reading a lot of Non-Fiction about Islam and Koran and Jihaad” in the aftermath of 26/11? I seriously doubt his abilities then.
P.S.2 -- Kabir pretends to be an electrician when infiltrating a Madrasa, in Agent Rescue level 1. His fellow conspirators, the local balochis, had killed off the power to establishment. He then heats the Solder iron in the kit given to him, melts some soldering wire on top of it and stabs the first guard in the eye with it. When there wasn’t any electricity, how did he manage to heat up the soldering rod? 0143423967 One thing to appreciate about Siddiqi is the amount of research he seems to have done. He’s gotten the politics down pat. He has a knack for it, which he displays with the amount of information he seems to have acquired. And for that alone, he has my respect.
And I also appreciate the struggle of writing a novel at that young an age (I did, so I can relate). The issue with The Bard of Blood is exactly the same flaw I point out in my own book (which can be bought here, if you’re interested) – it’s too simplistic. Terrorism is not a black-and-white area, nor is espionage. Hell, the world is grey, so how can anything in it be either good or bad! As a result of this, the characters function as cut-outs. So Kabir Anand, the protagonist, is a by-the-beats hero, Isha Khan is a femme fatale, Nihar Shah is a geek (but is also the most interesting character of the lot), and Veer Singh a fatigued embedded agent.
The prose is bland, and the facts that make up Siddiqi’s research are unloaded like a New York gangster emptying a Thompson. The book clearly seems to have been written with the intention of it being adapted for the screen, and that theory is strengthened by the fact that Siddiqi works at Shah Rukh Khan’s Red Chillies Entertainment (which is producing the show), is mentored by the one-stop-shop for all things true crime in Western India (S. Hussain Zaidi, whose non-fiction is as good as his fiction is atrocious), and co-wrote Emraan Hashmi’s memoir on the latter’s journey with his cancer-survivor son. Hashmi plays Kabir Anand in the show.
Even the climax, which is staged on homeland (geddit?!), can be seen coming from quite a distance. I can only hope that after having made some strange decisions regarding which novels to adapt and how, Netflix does a course correction and picks better material.
More at Varun Oak-Bhakay's Writer's Block 0143423967 I looked up the book when Netflix announced they were collaborating with Red Chillies Productions to make a series on it plus the blurb seemed very promising.
And I tried to really like the book (really despite figuring out who the inside mole is before the half way mark). The problem is that this is not exactly a novel, it's more of a good first draft of a screenplay and it reads that way. Queue hero entry scene, pad up with some info, queue heroine entry scene, some more info, add action scenes, even highly emotional turns are written so blandly that they leave you untouched. It's as cliched as a masala Bollywood film can be.
My biggest grouse was with the way the geo-political landscape is explained. The India-Pak-Baloch-Afghan strife is a multi-layered, multi-player minefield which makes for intense, gripping read however many different ways it is written. In this book reading about it was about as exciting as trying to cook cardboard.
The only silver lining was that it will save me the trouble of watching the series later. 0143423967 Linear storytelling inspired from countless flicks that forgo realism and nuance for action high-points. Lacks complex characters, or the gritty action of Bourne books, or the fine detailing of The Day of the Jackal. In short, a routine spy-thriller. 0143423967
Bilal Siddiqi ↠ 0 Read & download
Researched with the assistance of US and Indian intelligence agents, war correspondents and the crime veteran S. Hussain Zaidi, The Bard of Blood takes you on a thrilling journey from the power corridors of RAW to the war-torn terrain of Balochistan.
In Delhi, ex-RAW boss Lieutenant General Sadiq Sheikh is killed by a double agent. Sadiq’s killer is a man who knows too much and is part of a diabolical plot to create what might become the Third World War.
In Mumbai, literature professor Kabir Anand is settling down into his new life, when a call from the PMO thrusts him back into the world he is trying hard to forget. A brilliant agent who served under Sadiq Sheikh, Kabir has been forced to leave RAW because of a disastrous mission in Balochistan in 2006 that was undertaken as part of the Indian secret service’s covert support of the Balochi rebels against the Pakistan government. Kabir must now revisit those ghosts, avenge his mentor and face his deadliest enemies—Mullah Omar and the ISI—while racing against time to save his country. The Bard of Blood
Excellent read 0143423967 Bilal has done a superb job. He has proved that he is mr.Zaidis perfect protege. All the characters in the book r extremely likeable and real. U can almost visualise things happening in front of ur eyes,thats what makes bilal different from other writers. All i can say is i m eagerly awaiting the writers next book... 0143423967 What a story line superb 0143423967 Whenever I decide to read a book, I first look at the summary to see whether it is likely to hold my interest. The summary on the back of the book promised a racy thriller very Forsyth and Patterson in nature albeit in an Indian setting. I haven't come across such books and was intrigued.
I started reading this book a day ago and finished it with ease. It was one of those books that made you seek more and more. A gripping plot with well defined surroundings, characters and real life instances made it a pleasure to read. The intricately woven plot was well supported by a thrilling climax which decided the fate of the region in and around India.
This is Bilal Siddiqi's first novel and it is truly remarkable for a 20 year old to have spun a tale which involves deceit, loyalty, love and undying patriotism. The book is tremendously well researched and has been written after consulting an individual from the Police force in India and even an ex-CIA operative.
Finally, as a reader, I look forward to many more such novels from the author. Remember the name Bilal Siddiqi, he's just carved a niche in the field of Indian espionage writing. 0143423967 Easy and quick read. Very gripping thriller, dealing with the terrorism, intelligence working systems. 0143423967