Shadows in the Sun: Healing from Depression and Finding the Light Within By Gayathri Ramprasad

Trigger warning : Depression, eating disorder, suicide, sexual harassment, anxiety, drug induced violence, postpartum depression.
Oh God!
This book is everything I needed at the moment. Shadows in the Sun is Gayathri Ramprasad's memoir. Through the book she shares her journey, her almost-a-decade long battle with anxiety and depression. Mrs R is amazing. The narrator grows up in a very strict Hindu household with her loving parents and siblings.
The first parts of the book talks about her slow descent into adolescent depression. It's so genuinely written that it gets painful to read. (Especially if you're someone who grew up in a similar household with a mental illness). She talks about her struggle with finding her identity as a teenager growing up and finding a balance between being the pleaserof the family as well as being her own person. The author manages to beautifully her love-hate relationship with her conservative mother as well as the Gods that she was rigidly taught to worship.
The middle part talks about her marriage to a software engineer, Ramprasad and her migration to America. This part deals with the contrast in the lives lead in both the countries and her struggle with finding herself now that she is no longer a part of a huge family with a predetermined role to play.
The next part deals with postpartum depression, her descent into the worst parts of her life with depression and finally hospitalization and her awakening or healing.
Gayathri Ramprasad is very candid about her battle. She shares her thoughts without filters and I think that's what this made the book endearing. She does not try to paint herself or her family as anything other than themselves. Reading her story about growing up in a Hindu household in India with a family who considered depression a myth or a weakness made me feel understood and normal. I realized a lot of things about my own struggle with mental illness while reading this book.
The biggest battle that she faces in her life is the fear that she is not normal and she shares how she overcame this through sharing her story and how she adopted a holistic method to heal herself and free herself of the stigma associated with mental health.
Finally, my first 5 star book of 2020. I thank the Gods for making me pick up this book last year at a used bookstore. It made me cry like a baby way too many times. I would recommend it to everyone who grew up in a similar background and have dealt with mental illness. I would also recommend it to people who would love to understand how depression works or the stigma related to it in a country like ours.

P.S. Gayathri Ramaprasad is the founder of a non profit called ASHA International, which strives to provide inclusion and empathy to people battling mental illness. Gayathri Ramprasad Oh, where do I even start? I think I must begin by requesting, nay, begging everyone out there to grab a copy and read this book.

One day, you meet someone. And you know that someone is beautiful because you look at them and a split-second later, you look at them again. Something about them has spoken to you. She has the most gentle walk; his smile seems too big to hold his face. Her eyes shine, his nose twitches. She has a duck-walk, his hair does a cute floppy thing. It attracts you; it leaves you wanting more.

But.. I don't know. Maybe that isn't it; that isn't what leaves you yearning a single second's lifetime with them.

Maybe. Maybe it's their soul.

And you want that. You want to be a part of that, you want to be a part of their journey because something somewhere has left an indelible impression on you. But of course you're scared. You've never felt anything like it; you're scared the fire you feel for her will consume you instead. You're scared the burning desire for him will singe you, scar you.

So, what do you do? Do you jump the burning abyss and hope against hope that she'll be there to catch you? Or do you step back, into the shadows, and hope that he'll find you one day?

Shadows in the Sun is a love story.

It is a love story between the author and her book.

Very rarely, very rarely, you find a book that comes alive because it has its own soul. It invites you to be a part of the story it narrates and almost helplessly, knowing you'll be burnt, you find yourself pulled in.

Straight sentences, crisp words, blunt phrases - and the author weaves poetry. She doesn't let you be a part of her entire story, no. With melodic precision, she zooms in and out of her childhood, sharpening her focus here, blurring an event there. She pulls you in slowly, excitedly, like she's creeping towards a firecracker to light it.

And somehow, before you know it, she's lit the fuse at her home on Rama Iyengar Road. And in one 200-page explosion, you're living 40 years of her life.

The pain. Oh, the pain. It's such a thin line, this line of awareness, between this side to safety and that side to lost frenzy - a parent's disapproval, a lost love, repressed freedom. What do you do other than call yourself mad when you don't know mental illness? How do you not want to die?

Did the author make the choice to be burnt, scarred all over again when she wrote this out? Oh, how I'd like to know.

Shadows in the Sun hits home to anybody who has suffered any form of mental illness. But it is much more than that.

It is a book on humanitarianism told through one person's story. It tells us without telling us why, at the end of it all, we crave one thing and one thing only - people. And their love. Love brings acceptance. Acceptance brings joy, joy compassion.
And that love lets you dream, it lets you fly. All the way to the sun and back and you realize one day that you aren't getting burnt anymore.

One word. Read. Gayathri Ramprasad A little background on me, because I think sometimes people wonder why certain books resonate more with others. My masters degree in in clinical psychology, and much of my research in both undergrad and grad school centered around cross-cultural education for mental health service providers. So I have an academic (if not professional, since I never got licensed and have never practiced) interest in the topic at hand, but also a personal one. It doesn't come up much here, but I've been fairly open over the years about my own experiences with depression, being in therapy, being medicated, etc. (And if you haven't heard me talk about it: hi! ask my about my experience with mental health care!)

So I usually jump at the chance to review books that touch on things like this, and Shadows in the Sun was certainly an excellent one to pick. The author shares her at time heartbreaking struggle with her own depression and anxiety, gone diagnosed for so long, with so many people in her life telling her to just shake it off, get over it, stop being so emotional, etc. It's hard to read sometimes because you know that she desperately needs better help than she's getting. Gayathri doesn't shy away from showing the real toll that depression takes on a person.

This book is very well written and engaging. The descriptions are vivid, and you can imagine sitting around her family's table in India, being at her wedding, experiencing America for the first time, etc. She writes beautifully, and really pulls you into her story, her state of mind, her suffering as she tried to deal with her condition. Dealing with mental illness in the first place is difficult, but even moreso when you throw in different cultural norms and expectations into the mix, and the author handles making that balance clear very well. I would recommend this book to anyone looking for an interesting, true look at both mental illness and cultural differences. Gayathri Ramprasad I almost didn't finish this book. It was dark and depressing for far too long. But every time I thought about delving into a more light hearted read, this found it's way into my hands instead. The last 2 paragraphs made it 100% worth reading. In a life filled with love and light, from time to time, my moods continue to cast shadows in the Sun. But I no longer curse the shadows, for they have become my greatest teachers. Depression in no longer a demon I dread, but a teacher whose wisdom I seek. Although depression has caused a great deal of pain and suffering in my life, it has also blessed me with many gifts. It has taught me the power of love to heal all wounds, the fragility of life, and the invincible resiliency of the human spirit. Most of all, it has taught me not to fear the darkness in our lives. For it is in our darkest hour that we discover the light within--the light of love, wisdom, courage and compassion. Awesome quote, right?! Maybe you don't need to read the book? haha Gayathri Ramprasad I had the good luck to have met Gayathri Ramprasad at a training she did here in Portland a while back. She is an eloquent, engaging speaker and an amazingly bright and industrious person. The work she does for the community is incredible. I had a hard time imagining her ever having suffered from mental illness, much less being completely debilitated by it. After reading the first few chapters of this, I had to put it down. Not because it was poorly written-- it's not, and her descriptions of her home in India are vivid to the point you can taste the food and smell the jasmine-- but because of how close to home it was for me. As a mental health clinician with my own struggles with bipolar depression and PTSD, I just wasn't in the right place for it. It mirrored too much of my own feelings of hopelessness. But I picked it back up after running out of other things to read, and am glad I did. There is a lot of sadness and suffering to get through, and if I didn't already know that she made it out on the other side, I might not have stuck with it this time around either. In the end, it was an inspiration to me, and I think would be an inspiration to anyone else who suffers from depression, or has a loved one who does. Gayathri is a testament not only to the fact that depression isn't dependent on what you have or don't have in life (she mentions multiple times that she feels guilty for having a perfect life and not being able to enjoy it), but that there *is* hope for recovery. I'm glad I didn't give up on this, but more importantly, I'm glad Gayathri never gave up. Gayathri Ramprasad

A first-of-its-kind, cross-cultural lens to mental illness through the inspiring story of Gayathri’s thirty-year battle with depression. This literary memoir takes readers from her childhood in India where depression is thought to be a curse to life in America where she eventually finds the light within by drawing on both her rich Hindu heritage and Western medicine to find healing.

As a young girl in Bangalore, Gayathri was surrounded by the fragrance of jasmine and flickering oil lamps, her family protected by Hindu gods and goddesses. But as she grew older, demons came forth from the dark corners of her idyllic kingdom--with the scariest creatures lurking within her.The daughter of a respected Brahmin family, Gayathri began to feel different. I can hardly eat, sleep, or think straight. The only thing I can do is cry unending tears. Her parents insisted it was all in her head. Because traditional Indian culture had no concept of depression as an illness, no doctor could diagnose and no medicine could heal her mysterious malady.This memoir traces Gayathri's courageous battle with the depression that consumed her from adolescence through marriage and a move to the United States. It was only after the birth of her first child, when her husband discovered her in the backyard clawing the earth furiously with my bare hands, intent on digging a grave so that I could bury myself alive, that she finally found help. After a stay in a psych ward she eventually found the light within, an emotional and spiritual awakening from the darkness of her tortured mind.Gayathri's inspiring story provides a first-of-its-kind cross-cultural view of mental illness--how it is regarded in India and in America, and how she drew on both her rich Hindu heritage and Western medicine to find healing. Shadows in the Sun: Healing from Depression and Finding the Light Within

http://sveta-randomblog.blogspot.com/... Gayathri Ramprasad 4.5/5 Gayathri Ramprasad Trigger warning : Depression, eating disorder, suicide, sexual harassment, anxiety, drug induced violence, postpartum depression.
Oh God!
This book is everything I needed at the moment. Shadows in the Sun is Gayathri Ramprasad's memoir. Through the book she shares her journey, her almost-a-decade long battle with anxiety and depression. Mrs R is amazing. The narrator grows up in a very strict Hindu household with her loving parents and siblings.
The first parts of the book talks about her slow descent into adolescent depression. It's so genuinely written that it gets painful to read. (Especially if you're someone who grew up in a similar household with a mental illness). She talks about her struggle with finding her identity as a teenager growing up and finding a balance between being the pleaserof the family as well as being her own person. The author manages to beautifully her love-hate relationship with her conservative mother as well as the Gods that she was rigidly taught to worship.
The middle part talks about her marriage to a software engineer, Ramprasad and her migration to America. This part deals with the contrast in the lives lead in both the countries and her struggle with finding herself now that she is no longer a part of a huge family with a predetermined role to play.
The next part deals with postpartum depression, her descent into the worst parts of her life with depression and finally hospitalization and her awakening or healing.
Gayathri Ramprasad is very candid about her battle. She shares her thoughts without filters and I think that's what this made the book endearing. She does not try to paint herself or her family as anything other than themselves. Reading her story about growing up in a Hindu household in India with a family who considered depression a myth or a weakness made me feel understood and normal. I realized a lot of things about my own struggle with mental illness while reading this book.
The biggest battle that she faces in her life is the fear that she is not normal and she shares how she overcame this through sharing her story and how she adopted a holistic method to heal herself and free herself of the stigma associated with mental health.
Finally, my first 5 star book of 2020. I thank the Gods for making me pick up this book last year at a used bookstore. It made me cry like a baby way too many times. I would recommend it to everyone who grew up in a similar background and have dealt with mental illness. I would also recommend it to people who would love to understand how depression works or the stigma related to it in a country like ours.

P.S. Gayathri Ramaprasad is the founder of a non profit called ASHA International, which strives to provide inclusion and empathy to people battling mental illness. Gayathri Ramprasad I will begin by saying that I love the title of the book. It describes the book's contents perfectly.

Now then, I absolutely loved this book. I could feel along as if I was actually present during the scenes. I could relate to too many things due to my own struggles, which is good thing because it helps me be even more hopeful. It perfectly shows how depression sneaks in and how manipulative and deceptive it can be.

The mental illness stigma and its impact has been shown in detail and it is a good thing too, especially for Indians. I love India but sometimes the people in it can be ignorant and injurious. Of course, I also believe they mean well - they just don't understand. This ignorance is being challenged by many a things (such as this book.) Now people at this age are more open minded but at the time of author's struggles? Reading about it was a horror.

My own admission to a psych ward made me relate even more. Not many people know about it, but the book made me think that maybe I should indeed talk more.

It is also an example that mother's love is indeed unconditional, even if they do not understand you at times. Love you mom.

Also, it gave me a laugh that almost everyone worked at Intel. xD Gayathri Ramprasad I absolutely loved this inspiring, beautifully written book! Shadows in the Sun helped me a great deal when I suffered from treatment-resistant bipolar depression due to postpartum bipolar disorder. Gayathri's journey made me feel less alone with my pain, and that was no small feat!  It comforted me when I read her book. Her vivid descriptions of her culture were fascinating, and  her insights reminded me that people do get better with depression!  Shadows in the Sun is a book I'd give as a gift to anyone experiencing depression because it's the perfect bibliotherapeutic tool---in other words, it helps with mood disorders by giving the reader hope. She's a wonderful writer and Shadows in the Sun is such a worthwhile read!   Gayathri Ramprasad

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